Very silent

I had dinner with colleagues tonight and a regional manager from Dubai was asking why I have been very 'quiet' lately. I did not realized that I have been 'quiet' until they mentioned that I don't reply their email as often now a days.

Honestly, I have been busy building my team as well as trying to achieve my given target that I do not have much time left for friends. I basically have only Friday night to hang out and that's it. Hmmmm...I promise I will make more effort.

Durian

I love Durian. Last Sunday a bunch of Subaru kaki went for a drive in search of Durian. They found it, ate it and enjoyed every last delicious durian there was. It's RM10 durian buffet!!!

I on the other hand, had something to do and did not go with the guys. Rugi rugi.

Peni5 Joke

The only thing the I.R.S. has not taxed is the penis. This is due to the fact that:

40% of the time it's hanging around unemployed.
20% of the time it's pissed off.
30% of the time it's hard up.
10% of the time it is in the hole.

On top of all this, it has two dependants and they are both nuts.

Accordingly, starting January 1, 2009, penises will be taxed according to size. To determine the category, please consult the chart below and confirm this information of Page 2, Section 7, Line 3, of the standard 1040P form.

10 to 12 Inches = Luxury Tax $50.00
8 to 10 inches = Pole Tax $30.00
6 to 8 inches = Privilege Tax $15.00
4 to 6 inches = Nuisance Tax $5.00

PLEASE NOTE: Anyone under 4 inches is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT REQUEST AN EXTENSION.

* Males exceeding 12 inches must file Capital Gains.

Sincerely,

Pecker Checker
Internal Revenue Service

What men wants

Last year there was this TV show called "What women wants" hosted by Hannah Tan. I was wondering what happened to the winner? Where is he now? Is this the kind of men women really wants???

I wish there is another show for men called "What men wants".What men wants is a confident and sweet women on the outside and a 'monster' in bed. Period.

Maybe it is easier to figure what men wants then what women wants. 99.9% of men still can't figure out what women wants......

New place @ TTDI

On friday night, I went to this place in TTDI. It was suggested by a friend and I was surprised at what I saw.

In the past, it was a place for me to park my car when I was working near Plaza IBM (Now VADS). Nothing was there really. Now, it is a place with lots of fine dining restaurants and bars. I felt out of place a bit cause I was wearing a short pants. I was probably the only guy wearing shorts!! LOL

Sometimes, I wish some friends would warn me about places like this. I would have worn jeans instead.

Anyhow, the dinner was good. The price is surprisingly moderate and the owner was friendly. Next time, I must try the tiramisu...yum.

Maybank 2 U rocks

I wake up in the morning and do all my banking within 1 hour. I transfered money to another bank, pay my credit card bills, pay my house assessment, pay my astro and pay my utility.

So cool. I can lepak now.

Sad Day

You should read previous post first before reading this:

Once I arrived to my workshop, my tuner was ready and I gave the car key to him. He took my car close to 45 minutes and came back from test run. He said, "Sorry, no more power increase. You turbo max out already". I was sad. I was hoping to squeeze some horsepower from Scooby. It was not meant to be.

Solution? Get new bigger turbo. Ah Chai has this VF22 (brand new) and he priced it at 4grand. 4.2K include installation. Potentially will add another 30-40 horses (at wheel). Tempting but I said no.

I guess I have to live with this for a while. At least until I get very very itchy again...hehehe

Happy day and Sad Day

Yesterday was a good day. After a meeting in KLIA, I had to rush back to Shah Alam to meet my tuner. I was very late. My appointment with him was at 4:30 but at 4:30 I was still in Main Terminal Building KLIA.

It is a no brainer that I drove like a mad man possessed. I switch on the headlight (during the day) and drove my normal "I am late" speed (aka 200+). The traffic was okay. I thought there is some good coming from the fuel increase.


Once I reached near Shah Alam exit a saw a glimpse of a tangerine color Lamborghini. The plate number is XXX 1. Did not see police rider next to it so with my itchy foot I trailed (aka cucuk) the guy. Obviously he saw me coming (headlights on during the day remember) and he guns it.

I drop a gear and follow lar. I was surprise he did not manage to get away from me. I was right behind his gorgeous tangerine color 'ass' all the way until I had to turn into my workshop. We were doing 180 on normal road (I am guessing). When he was at traffic light I gave a thumbs up to him for playing. He was either pissed or he is sombong la, but he had this selamba face on.

I was happy that Scooby can play with the best. Really "after having sex like" happy LOL

For the last 15 working years of my life, I never had a secretary. Only recently I was assigned one and not too long after that, I found difficulties managing my own calender. Now, 80% of my schedule is managed by her. I just give her some guidelines and code words.

If I block my calender with "WORK", that means I will be in my fav coffee place to work.
If I block my calender with "WORKSHOP", that means Scooby is going for maintenance. (This shall not be mistaken with having a business workshop. LOL)

If you have yet to notice, Secretary is one of the most powerful agent you can have next to the boss himself. She/he has networks beyond our normal comprehension. She/he know which boss do what and where. She/he knows who said what and when. It like underworld if you managed to infiltrate the gates of power.

Smart people will always buys cakes, fruits, stuff to the secretary cause if you managed to get the pass the gatekeeper, your life will be much easier.

Food culture

My office has this food culture that's kindda interesting. It all started when a guy got promoted a year ago. What he did was belanja the whole office 'nasi lemak'. (I think it is cheaper than taking us all for lunch!) As time goes by, this culture was extended to new hires or newly transfered staff until today.

Between then and now, we had many many nasi lemak bungkus session in the office. This week, it's the worst I have seen.

Monday: My new staff belanja nasi lemak
Tuesday: Ad belanja nasi lemak and IBM belanja lunch for 100+ people.
Wednesday: IBM belanja again IT department Nasi Lemak so I got it too.
Thursday: New staff from another department belanja nasi lemak AGAIN!
Friday: Not sure yet!

My ladies staff are starting to complain. They said joining my department is hazardous to their waist size. I have no comment lar. It is hazardous to MY health commenting on their waist size! (If I am not dead already from all this lemak thing)

Over eating...

I was hungry this morning and went for roti telur at the cafe. That was at 8:35am. 20minutes later, Ad called me to tell me that she bought Nasi Lemak bungkus for me. So makan lagi. At 11am, somebody invited me for a makan makan at Kelana Jaya. IBM Country Business Manager and my boss were there so must show face and give respect la. I had Rojak, tahu bakar and 4 fried shrimp. Makan lagi.

I am so full right now I could burst! As Grace comment on Maslow's theory - I got food today, I got money today but I got no sex... soooooooooo... I am not truly happy but I am at 66.6% level of happiness. I still have 3/4 of the day to seek 100% happiness. LOL

Happiness and Sex

There is a theory that a person cannot be truly be happy unless his or her sex and food needs are taken care off.

What it means is this:
If a person has money, it will not guarantee happiness unless he/she has enough to eat and has enough/good sex.
If a person has a good career, it will not guarantee happiness unless he/she has enough to eat and has enough/good sex.

That's the theory la. What do you think? True?

Sunday Drive Picture

Waiting for friends at Petronas Station. Notice the 2 new Civic Type R (FD2 R)

That's Scooby!

Small town scenery...

Women

No Internet

Celcom is upgrading their network. I have intermittent internet connection. This is frustrating

Sunday Drive

My alarm went off at 7am. This is followed by a sms at 7:05am. The message was "Bangun wei!!!" I woke up and showered and met up a friend at Shell station (used to be Projet Station) near my house. It was time for our Sunday breakfast drive.

Today's destination was Tanjung Malim Pau shop. We met up at Petronas in Batu Cave. After few minutes, we were off. There were 8 cars. 2 were the new Honda Civic Type R!!!! Lucky rich bastards!!!

The road was windy and fast. After Police station (somewhere la, can't remember) Doc's car spewed white smoke and had to stop. A bunch of us ahead had to turn back to wait for flat-bed tow truck. After an hour or so, the truck came and took his car to Shah Alam, where Subaru specialist (Ah Chai) was waiting after our call earlier.

While waiting, we saw close to 50bikes passes by to have their Sunday ride. 6-7 Porsche and few Ferraris just came back from their breakfast drive to Gotong Jaya. We wish we were driving at the time. Could gave those boys a run for their money.

The drive to Tanjung malim was uneventful. It was the normal fast, adrenalin powered drive. As normal, my car was the slowest. Initial plan was to drive back using trunk road but due to the delay we all headed back via highway. I left the Civic Type R behind cause they have speed cut at 187kph. he he he. All Subaru's were doing 200+

It was a good sunday drive. My tuner coming this week from Singapore. I may have to tune my car for the next drive he he he

Marion

I saw Marion Chaunter at my favorite watering hole today. She is pretty. (name could be spelled wrongly)

Slow Drive

Is it me or people generally is driving slower? On friday night I was driving to 1U for a movie and then to Curve for coffee and it frustrates me. People are driving so slow on the fast lane! If it is any slower, the highway will be a big parking spot. If it is any slower, martians from space would have thought we are a species evolved from turtles.

There are 2 hypothesis why this could be:
1) I am driving fast thus the perception of other driving slowly
2) People are driving slower because they want to save fuel

I do not agree on hypothesis number 1. I know how fast I was driving. Trust me, it is not fast.

Then I can conclude that hypothesis #2 is correct. If that is the case, I would recommend people to stay home. Better right. You save on fuel, toll and parking and not to mentions some overpriced dinner.

This is a plea to slow drivers out there. Please please please drive slow on the SLOW lane!

Caught

I was reading with a smile when a guy found out that his wife was having a affair with another women. To some men, this could be the end of his 'life'. Where is he gonna hide his face cause he lost out to another 'women'. At this moment, he probably wished that his wife is having an affair with a man instead. Easier to explain to his mom and dad and other relative.

Personally, I see this as an opportunity. .....before I proceed, please bear with my hamsap thoughts...

Boys when they were growing up, would have watched blue films. At some point, they might have watched a women-women scene (i.e lesbian). I believe most men would find this erotic (dun know why, maybe we are wired like that).

So, going back to the guy earlier, this is an opportunity for him to experience 'live' show. He should be happy instead.

Things to avoid

I had a discussion with my doctor yesterday. It was regarding my gaot condition. He was recommending that I take medicine to treat my 'condition'. I on the other hand, do not think it is a good idea to take this medicine for the rest of my life!. Yes, for the rest of my life!!! Can you imagine. I can't.

So I made a gentleman's agreement with him. I said, "Give me 2 months to reduce my uric acid level or I will take the medication". He agreed.

So this is my plan. Things I have to avoid...
1) Anchovies
2) Sardines
3) Shrimp
4) Internal organs (like liver)
5) Nuts
6) Broccoli
7) Red meat

This is gonna hurt. Lucky women is not on the list, else, I have to avoid them as well LOL.

Marriage is tough

I have been talking about relationships in many of my past blog entries. If you have been following this blog, you would have seen my pessimism in this whole relationship thing.

Yesterday, I accidentally found out that one of my friends has separated. It is kinda sad that I was there when they got married. In fact I was there when my friend told me that she is going to marry this friend of mine. She looks so happy then.

Anyhow, life's like that. Sometimes you win and live happily ever after and sometimes reality sets in. I have seen and experience enough to just accept and move on. Hope my friends are coping as well. Here's to LIFE!

I would buy a car from her...

She is the winner of Miss Car Sales Women of the year!!! No wonder la she can win and sell more cars than anybody else....hehehe

Got new shoes

Aha, managed to get new shoe from Subang Parade during lunch time today. I bought it and wear it straight from the shop. It's not as expensive as Prada or Marc Jacobs or Ferrogamo but it's good value.

Need to decide what to do with the old pair of shoe. Hmmm...when I was young, I would use the leather to make catapult. Now old already.

Fear

Fear can be debilitating. I watched kids in swimming pool and they are like duck to water. They just jumped in even if the pool is 3meters deep. No fear. I can't swim, so you might guess why I am 'afraid' of deep pool.

Looking back, one of the key turning points in my life was when I decided to remove fear from my head. I was in manufacturing industry then. I was afraid what my boss think of me. I was afraid to leave the job. I was afraid to go against norm. It was a stress I created myself.

Now, I fear no one. It might sound arrogant but I meant it in the most positive way. I realized that once the 'fear' baggage is out of the way, you will move faster and do things better. Fear was holding me back in the past. Not anymore.

Stuck behind police

Another day getting stuck behind a police convoy of VIPs. This time it was at NKVE. I was driving to Damansara and I saw 3 outriders with 4-5 Mercedes cars on the fast lane. They were not doing that fast which gets me. If I have outriders, I'll be doing like 250kph or something. Guarantee no speeding ticket right?

So I was trying to overtake the entourage lar when the front most police saw scooby and he raised his left hand asking me to go to left most lane. HELLO! left most with the lorry ke! I was pissed a bit. So I overtook the lorries via middle lane one by one till my exit.

Question to the story here is this, why blardy VIP needs 3 outriders and 4-5 cars to go somewhere? This incur lots of cost: outriders overtime, fuel cost for all cars and bikes, fuel cost for the traffic jam they are incurring along the way, my time cost *which is priceless like everyone else*

Basket!!!

Friday Night

This was filmed in US. Similar thing happened on my regular Friday night drive.....this is how some of us release stress

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wwWgFyRmDys&feature=related

Enjoy

0-200 in Subaru STI

This is how it feels like to reach 200kph in Subaru STI

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gvs5ZoKl5Q8&NR=1

Enjoy

0-200 in My Car

This is how it feels like to reach 200kph in Subaru Impreza... (this car might be modded)

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yEiRI1IDxh8&NR=1

Enjoy

I need new shoes

This would not be a problem if I were to be a women. To sum it up , I need a new shoes. I don't understand why it is taking so long for me to go out and buy shoes. It couldn't be that difficult right?

Step 1: Go to a shoe shop
Step 2: Find one that's black and suitable for work
Step 3: Try the shoes
Step 4: Like it? Use credit card to pay
Step 5: Use for work

I need a new work shoe but I am too lazy to get one. I need help...

Racial issue?

Got Scooby back from workshop and had an interesting conversation with the workshop guy. At one point of our conversation, he asked who knocked my car and I said a guy who has a bit too much to drink.

He ask, what race? I told him (the race). He went, "dia sudah bayar ka?". I said, 'belum'. He said "aiyo, orang bangsa ini susah sikit la, diaorang tarak mau bayar punya".

I left the workshop thinking about how stereotyping is still alive and kicking.

She is back

Scooby is back from Workshop. They did quite a good job. There are some signs of accidents but only if you know where to look.

I feel whole again

My life is boring

Reading my blog you might have a sense that my life revolve around cars and helmets and more cars. You are partly right in arriving to the conclusion. It is F**KING boring right? Somebody just told me the exact thing.

Actually no!, I am like James Bond (aka Mat Jebon) or like Peter Parker (aka Spiderman). I have a double life. The life I show you here is the one I want you to see. The other part is very INTERESTING!!!

Hypothetically speaking, I can tell you that my sex life is either boring or interesting (but I won't). I can tell you that I prefer certain position over the other (but I won't). I can also tell you that on some nights, I watch TV on mute just to think (but I won't). I can tell you that I am very passionate or dispassionate person (but I won't).

What I can tell you is this, if you gather all my friends together and exchange notes, you would probably see the whole me. Of course like James Bond or Spiderman, we will not allow this to happen. I got a license to kill and can sling webs to stop this. LOL

Oil

With oil prices going thru the roof (must be Twin tower roof lar cause it is so high now), I have been thinking to use alternative (some renewable) resources. This means looking for other type of oil. So here is the potential list:

1) Coconut oil
2) Vegetable oil
3) Sunflower oil
4) Orang Minyak
5) Minyak Kapak
6) Minyak Gamat
7) Minyak Urut
8) Minyak Hitam (Engine oil lar)
9) Gear oil
10) Hydraulic oil

keh keh keh...

New Helmet

A friend of mine is a bike fan. In fact he has a company that provides Malaysia tours on bike. So naturally, he is the person I go to for advice on helmets.

Last night, I went to see him to get my new helmet. Surprisingly the helmet I got has ventilation holes everywhere. Excellent piece of protection equipment. I paid RM350 for it.

So now, I have to say goodbye to my old Magnum helmet I bought for RM50 last year. It is one of those kapchai helmet la that I kept in my Gen2 in case of emergency (like track sessions, not robbing banks!)

BTW, I don't have a bike. We all need protection during those passionate moments....LOL

Tak Jadi

Called Naza this afternoon to check on my Euro R. Confirmed, they cannot sell at the price that I want. So for now, I will keep Gen2. I then asked the sales person to 'koyak' my cheque la. The time is not right yet...she is not meant to be with me ....for now.

IMHO, this is the buyers market. With high fuel price, inflation and recession, not many could afford to buy a car. Not 'cannot afford' as cannot pay la, but cannot afford as in to be more prudent. A few more months they will be selling it cheaper. So I will wait...

New Toy

I've got a new toy to play with. This time, it is the Lenovo X61 Thinkpad series. My IT department requires a tester for this notebook and I was the lucky one. I managed to persuade the IT GM to let me have it. he he he.

There is bad things in getting a new notebook. In the past, my T42 has been configured to my personal liking and now I have to transfer all my setting/software to this new notebook. The one that complicates it is the operating system. Old one is on Window XP and new one is on Vista. There are subtle differences but some software works slightly different. Lucky I am good with this stuff (masuk bakul angkat sendiri la)

Another bad thing is that this notebook is referred to as 'chick' notebook to due the 'smallness' of the size. In theory, you will not look MANLY if you carry this 12.1" screen notebook around. That's according to my IT guy.

I don't give a hoot. I think this notebook is cool....

Workshop

I sent my car for 'ass-enhancement' in Subang. There are many Subaru Impreza being repaired. I wonder why so many are in the workshop?

Anyway, the estimated damage is about RM300. Ok lar.

Bidding

Over the weekend I stop by at Naza showroom in TTDI. I was surprised that they have everything under one roof. They sell Mazda, Peugeot, Naza on 1st floor. On second, more cars of the same made but the goodies are at level 3.

There they have some nice cars including the Honda Accord Euro R mentioned earlier in my blog. It is a nice car. Recaro seats (easily RM15k for the seats alone) and an engine to die for. So, I called the salesman and asked if I can buy it at RM1xx,xxx? He called his boss and the reply was the asking price was too low. I upped by 10K and said that's my final offer, the salesman said he needs to wait for big boss meeting on Monday. To show my sincerity and seriousness, I left a cheque to start negotiation.

Now I might need to find a new owner for my Gen2 (maybe).

BMW M3

BMW is introducing a BMW M3 in Malaysia. This is one hell of a car. It is a 4 liter V8 414horses monster and cost about RM700K.

A bunch of us was discussing about this car last night during TT session and the conclusion is that we will give it a pass. We can tune our Subaru to 500 horses with the same 2 liter (talking about efficiency!) or we could buy a Nissan GT-R at about the same price. It is a much better car...period.

Anyway, I have nothing against BMW car. It is a fantastic car. The difference is like roti telur and roti sardin. Some like telur better than sardin and some are reversed.

Weekend started

My weekend started with a celebration, a nice drive and a bang.

Earlier Friday evening, I was with half of my team at Chili's having a celebration dinner. It was a celebration of a promotion and a staff leaving (to another department). We ended up having a blast and I footed the bill. I was poorer by RM700.

Later, around 9:30pm, Subaru guys organized our normal TT. I went there to meet friends and get my subaru club t-shirt. Actually, Subaru is not an official club. It is just a gathering of subaru freaks that love to have nights out....DRIVING instead of drinking. The secret location last night was Cyberjaya. There were 30 cars at the petrol station. If JPJ were there, ALL will be given summons due to HID installation, exhaust too loud, tinted glass and some modification better not mentioned. As usual, the drive to TT location was an exciting one. It was slower than normal cause lots of other cars are driving slow on the fast lane (maybe they are on fuel conservation drive)


On the way back, some idiot rear ended me. He was drinking a bit and cannot 'see' my blue car with gold rims! Now my bumper 'kemek' already. As usual, this guy say he does not have money to pay (he drives a Waja and his phone screen display is a playboy logo!). I told him to deal direct to my workshop and I gave him my workshop number. So what if he does not honor and ran away? All I can say is 'karma' will get him back...somehow.

Such an exciting start to my weekend. Now you need to excuse me. I need to send Scooby for 'ass-enhancing' surgery. She will be as good as new before next weekend.

Billionaire maybe?

What does he has that I don't?

Bad news

Fuel price has increased by 41%. I guess you would have known that. I am not gonna dwell on this much cause I believe that all blogger would have something to say about it.

What I am going to say is the change I am planning to make in my life.
1) I am not going to buy that Honda Accord Euro R as mentioned earlier. Trying to be more prudent.
2) I am going to take the train (whenever possible) to KLCC instead of driving there.
3) I am going to use my Gen2 more than Scooby (cheaper to maintain)
4) I am going to not drive as fast with Scooby if not chasing other scoobies.
5) I am thinking of removing all heavy things from my car to reduce the weight. = Less Fuel
6) I am going to wax the car more often to reduce the coefficients of friction = Less Fuel
7) I am going to loose weight thus reducing total weight to be carrried = Less Fuel
8) I am going to drive naked = Less Weight = Less Fuel
9)........better stop here la. Getting ridiculous already......

Don't buy this

Your carbon footprint on this earth will be as big a Bigfoot with size 50 shoes. I estimate the petrol cost for a drive to Giant/Tesco is as much as the groceries itself! I would also like to blame you for consuming more natural resources and making sustainable resource management an impossible feat.

Of course if you drive this for TT session, the bragging rights ada la.

BTW, it cost RM479K (not incuding roadtax and insurance)

Sweet car

Spec C Type RA-R

Over the weekend I have been window shopping for cars. The first stop was at Kampung Baru Naza outlet. There were few interesting cars available. There were Subaru STI Spec C Type RA-R. Not only the car is fast, it has the longest name for a car (No Kidding). SOLD!

The next car I looked at was another Subaru STI Spec C Type RA. There is something missing from the engine bay like the oil cooler! He he. I heard somebody bought it over the same weekend. Hope he knows it's missing the oil cooler.


Actually, I was looking for Honda Accord Euro R (see above). It is a rare car in that Honda engineers decided to put the Type R engine (high specification) into an Accord body. Love those Japanese engineers. They really knows how to have fun.

It has 220horses (slightly less than a brand new Scooby), runs the century in 7.3 seconds and a top speed of 234kph. Sweet!!!

Number of the beast

I will have dinner with my team on Friday at 6pm. Somebody said it's freaky because we will have dinner on 6th day of the 6th month at 6 o'clock. '666'......Wahhhhhh............

To Do List

I normally write down what I need to do on my 'to do' list. Today, my to do list is 15 deep and only 3 have been checked. It's going to be a long night (It's already 5pm)

I want feedback

Feedback is good. When I drive scooby at hyper speed, I want feedback from the steering wheel and my 'behind'. The feedback from steering will tell me where my tyres are specifically at any particular moment. The feedback from my 'behind' tells me how much traction I have. With these feedbacks, I know how much I can push or should I pull back.

It is the same with relationship. I need feedback often. Failing which I will not know what the hell happened. Some women gives lots of feedback (aka nag nag nag). That's too much. Some women don't give feedback at all (aka the silent treatment). That one is also not good. I prefer the in between.

This can also be translated in making love session (haha, here I go again..) Men prefer women who tells us if we doing it right. You want a bit to the left honey? Okay. You want it upside down? Okay babe, whatever turns you on. You like it this way? Good to know You want a handcuff? eh, getting a bit kinky are you? he he he.

Boss don't sleep??

It was almost midnight on Saturday and I received e-mail from boss. A couple of minutes later, 2 SGMs replied to his mail.

The only conclusion I can make is : Bosses don't sleep and needs to get a life. The it occurred to me, WHY THE HELL AM I READING MY BLACKBERRY AT THE SAME UNGODLY HOUR?

Nobody is perfect

It was a tiring weekend as there were too many logistics execution took place. I went to KLIA at least 2x this weekend. Damn tiring la.

Was having coffee last night and thinking to myself about things that happened in my life right now. There are a lot of good things happened and there are also not good stuff. I wish I could share things in this blog but I better not. Should I be famous one day and drive my yellow 1.7million Porsche GT2, all this could be detrimental to my ego. hehe.

Police so slow

I was a bit late to airport and was driving there in a hurry. On the way to airport, I bumped into a convoy of VIP. 2 outrider, 1 merc, 2 perdana and 1 saga. They were driving at maybe 120kph. Bugger, how to overtake police la? So I hang back until KLIA toll and drove full speed to toll before the outrider block the freaking road.

Hehe. Mos wins, it was clear road after that!